I know, I've totally fallen off the blogging wagon. At least this blogging wagon. And I apologize. The lame excuse is (as it always is) that I'm ridiculously busy. I think I have a problem... I am absolutely TERRIBLE at saying "No."
Right now we're a little busy. I'm still team-teaching the preschool Sunday school class at my church. I'm also Chair for the Board of Witness & Outreach (think marketing and missions/ministry support). I'm also on the church Social Media team which handles all Twitter correspondence. And by being a Chair of a board, that means I'm on the council. Did I mention that our senior (and only) pastor just announced his retirement? So things are a but busy on that front.
Now for non-religious activities - I'm on the board for our pool club. It all started when I agreed to help plan a fundraising dinner for the pool, and had a tendency to take over management of it all. And what do you know? I found myself on the board. ha! So I'm the Fundraising Chair... which means I'm in charge of the fundraising events. So in addition to the dinner, I'm also learning how to be a Race Director for a brand new trail run & swim (think "splash 'n dash" all my runner friends) that's happening in June. I'm not a runner and have never participated in a race, so this is all brand new to me.
Then there's the fact that I have a 3 (and a half) year old, and a 1 year old. Plus the 3.5yr old is going to be the flower girl in an upcoming wedding, so we've been shopping for, ordering, and now have to do fittings for the dress. Plus planning for the family trip out to the West Coast in July.
And finally (ha!) I've been working with my sister on a surprise 60th birthday present for my parents. We're organizing a family vacation down to the Gulf in October. So researching rental houses, rental cars, driving routes, airfares and schedules... the whole thing. At least that's been announced so I don't have to worry about keeping it all a secret anymore. Phew!
Ok, now that I've listed most of what's been occupying my time (aside from the daily life, right?) I have to go. It's time to get the girls up from their nap and get my preschooler over to dance class.
Monday, May 5, 2014
Monday, March 10, 2014
There's no place like home
I find that it's difficult sometimes to see the world from my daughter's perspective. Some things that I don't spend more than a few seconds thinking about are huge concepts to her; and sometimes they are very scary ones, too.
There is a lot of construction going on in our neighborhood. Mostly house renovations, there are a couple of lots where the old house gets torn down and a new, mini-mansion goes up. One of these is on our route to preschool, and we happened to pass it one day at the beginning of the process. As we drove past, my 3yr old daughter noticed the giant bulldozer tearing down the old house. It was probably 40% torn down, so was still very identifiable as a house, yet very obviously with a giant hole in the side.
As we drove by, my first assumption of what she would see was, "wow, how cool to see big machines at work! Isn't it amazing watching them?" But I was very wrong. It turns out that what she saw was, "somebody's home is being torn down and broken! Oh no! Why is there home being torn down? Where will they live now? Is ours next? What will we do?"
Now I admit that I'm putting words into my daughter's mouth, but it surprised me how much worry and stress seeing this caused her. She got very distressed at the idea that a house could get torn down. And it occurred to me - a house is such a permanent stable fixture, it was a profound concept to her that it isn't permanent and it could, in fact, be torn down.
So by completely missing her perspective, I accidentally caused her stress. I didn't realize that this would be a stressful thing to watch, so I didn't try to shield her from it. I'm not normally one to shield my children from life, but I certainly could have taken a different route that morning, or at least distracted her so she didn't see the de-construction. Whoops.
Every time we drive by, she asks about the house that got torn down and the people who lived there (we don't know them, so this is a generic question). To combat this, I make a point to talk to her about the new house that's being built and how happy it will make some family some day. Then we have another discussion about how someone is not going to tear our house down tomorrow (everything is tomorrow for her these days).
And every time we drive by, it also reminds me to think a little bit about what she has seen and experienced and how she might take something new. Not in the effort to shield her necessarily, but at least to be a bit more prepared and aware. The world looks very different at 3.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
From food to fashion
I'm so happy that February is over, primarily because that means my focus on the food budget has come to an end. Yay! It's sad, but I just love food too much. And I am not one of those folks who can eat the same food for an entire week and not care - sadly, I crave variety as much as I crave yummy not-the-best for you food.
I am a little proud to report that I pretty much managed to make it on a reduced food budget for 2 weeks. I lost track of the exact numbers by the very end (see the post about our atrocious Valentine's Day if you wonder why), but I think I managed to spend about 30% of the normal budget for 2 weeks straight. Yay! And yes, we turned around and donated the unused portion back to the church and their current food program. Double Yay!
And now that it is March, we are marching along through this book and onto the next chapter - clothes. So over the next few days/weeks, I will be working on accepting my over-abundance of clothing and trying to tailor it down a bit. It's only the beginning, but I think this will be easier than food.
Stay tuned to see if I still feel that way in a few days / weeks after wearing the same graham-cracker crusted shirt every day.
I am a little proud to report that I pretty much managed to make it on a reduced food budget for 2 weeks. I lost track of the exact numbers by the very end (see the post about our atrocious Valentine's Day if you wonder why), but I think I managed to spend about 30% of the normal budget for 2 weeks straight. Yay! And yes, we turned around and donated the unused portion back to the church and their current food program. Double Yay!
And now that it is March, we are marching along through this book and onto the next chapter - clothes. So over the next few days/weeks, I will be working on accepting my over-abundance of clothing and trying to tailor it down a bit. It's only the beginning, but I think this will be easier than food.
Stay tuned to see if I still feel that way in a few days / weeks after wearing the same graham-cracker crusted shirt every day.
Monday, March 3, 2014
Fighting the guilt
I've read a lot of mommy blog posts recently focused on the issue of Mommy Guilt. If you're not a mom, then you probably think of this as some made-up thing that moms create out of thin air to stress themselves out. Well, you're partially correct, except it is something unavoidable from my perspective.
Mommy guilt is the constant (albeit sometimes in the background) feeling that you're not doing things quite right. Whether you work outside of the home or not, whether your kids stay home all day or go to daycare or preschool, there are constant internal conversations going on about whether you are being a good mother or not. It's exhausting! It seems we are constantly second guessing every decision we make, and boy are there a zillion of those every day.
Am I letting my children watch too much TV (or in my case, iPad)?
Am I reading enough books and stories to them?
Am I being a good role model?
If I cuddle with them before bed, am I just creating an expectation that she'll always get mommy or daddy to lie down with her before she goes to sleep? How will I break this habit? (Note the habit isn't even formed yet and I'm already stressing about how to break it...)
By spending time volunteering in our community and church, am I neglecting my children? My husband?
And then there are the things that aren't really questions as much as blatant things I KNOW I'm not getting to like I either should or want to...
The laundry is more often in heaps (clean and dirty) rather than folded.
The toys are strewn all over the house, where I often describe my house as where a daycare exploded.
I have half started art projects or seasonally themed ideas for decorating the house and getting the kids in the spirit... but they've never quite gotten finished and are just sitting on the counter top waiting for their turn.
The house may be clean-ish, but I will admit that I don't scrub the bathrooms or the kitchen everyday. Ok, I don't even do it every week. I'm lucky if those things get cleaned once a month!
But one area that I do usually feel like I'm succeeding on is our meals. I like to cook and bake (mostly bake, truth be told), so on a good day figuring out what we'll have for dinner or planning out meals in advance is fun. I've taken to baking our bread, and I take pride in making homemade dinners every night (and yes, I count crockpot recipes as homemade). The baby rarely eats store-bought baby food, but subsists on squash or food I've personally mashed up. Ok, along with store bought applesauce, I admit. So food is made here with love versus bought. Well, unless I'm exhausted and the kids are screaming and we have way too much going on and...and...and...
Yea, so when the meals start to suffer and sputter, then I know I'm in trouble. Because when all else is a mess and you can't walk in a straight line through the house without climbing over piles of something, at least the food is homemade and delicious. It's my safe place away from Mommy Guilt.
So what do I do when we hit Code Red and I lose focus on even the meals? Usually that means I need to fall back and regroup, often with the help of my unflappable husband. I read a blog recently by a mom reminding us all that our JOB is to raise our children to be wonderful humans; our JOB is not to be maid/housekeeper/gardener/shopper/cook/etc. That's something I forget a LOT, and when I do, my husband reminds me. So with his calming reassurance, I take a few deep breaths (thank you Daniel Tiger) and take a moment to step back. Then I usually spend 15 minutes attempting to pick up one room so it looks more like a room than a yard-sale, and that helps, too. Just the de-cluttering of one space lets my mind reset a bit and brings me back to center.
And at the end of this exercise, the house is still a mess, the iPad is still on in the background, bedtime is still a goal not a rigid fact, but meals are made somewhat on time and my children are still growing into humans who know they are loved and well fed. And I smile knowing that this is a blessing so many families and people don't have. So I forget the rest of the things that aren't quite up to snuff and appreciate the things that do get done.
Mommy guilt is the constant (albeit sometimes in the background) feeling that you're not doing things quite right. Whether you work outside of the home or not, whether your kids stay home all day or go to daycare or preschool, there are constant internal conversations going on about whether you are being a good mother or not. It's exhausting! It seems we are constantly second guessing every decision we make, and boy are there a zillion of those every day.
Am I letting my children watch too much TV (or in my case, iPad)?
Am I reading enough books and stories to them?
Am I being a good role model?
If I cuddle with them before bed, am I just creating an expectation that she'll always get mommy or daddy to lie down with her before she goes to sleep? How will I break this habit? (Note the habit isn't even formed yet and I'm already stressing about how to break it...)
By spending time volunteering in our community and church, am I neglecting my children? My husband?
And then there are the things that aren't really questions as much as blatant things I KNOW I'm not getting to like I either should or want to...
The laundry is more often in heaps (clean and dirty) rather than folded.
The toys are strewn all over the house, where I often describe my house as where a daycare exploded.
I have half started art projects or seasonally themed ideas for decorating the house and getting the kids in the spirit... but they've never quite gotten finished and are just sitting on the counter top waiting for their turn.
The house may be clean-ish, but I will admit that I don't scrub the bathrooms or the kitchen everyday. Ok, I don't even do it every week. I'm lucky if those things get cleaned once a month!
But one area that I do usually feel like I'm succeeding on is our meals. I like to cook and bake (mostly bake, truth be told), so on a good day figuring out what we'll have for dinner or planning out meals in advance is fun. I've taken to baking our bread, and I take pride in making homemade dinners every night (and yes, I count crockpot recipes as homemade). The baby rarely eats store-bought baby food, but subsists on squash or food I've personally mashed up. Ok, along with store bought applesauce, I admit. So food is made here with love versus bought. Well, unless I'm exhausted and the kids are screaming and we have way too much going on and...and...and...
Yea, so when the meals start to suffer and sputter, then I know I'm in trouble. Because when all else is a mess and you can't walk in a straight line through the house without climbing over piles of something, at least the food is homemade and delicious. It's my safe place away from Mommy Guilt.
So what do I do when we hit Code Red and I lose focus on even the meals? Usually that means I need to fall back and regroup, often with the help of my unflappable husband. I read a blog recently by a mom reminding us all that our JOB is to raise our children to be wonderful humans; our JOB is not to be maid/housekeeper/gardener/shopper/cook/etc. That's something I forget a LOT, and when I do, my husband reminds me. So with his calming reassurance, I take a few deep breaths (thank you Daniel Tiger) and take a moment to step back. Then I usually spend 15 minutes attempting to pick up one room so it looks more like a room than a yard-sale, and that helps, too. Just the de-cluttering of one space lets my mind reset a bit and brings me back to center.
And at the end of this exercise, the house is still a mess, the iPad is still on in the background, bedtime is still a goal not a rigid fact, but meals are made somewhat on time and my children are still growing into humans who know they are loved and well fed. And I smile knowing that this is a blessing so many families and people don't have. So I forget the rest of the things that aren't quite up to snuff and appreciate the things that do get done.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Yarn eggs got me all tied up
So I have experienced my very own Pinterest failed it moment. What is this, you ask? Well, according to me, a failed it moment comes when you attempt to do something you saw on Pinterest, and fail miserably.
Here is mine - I saw this great idea for an Easter decoration on Pinterest (you can get to the site by clicking on the caption).
It looked pretty easy to make, very inexpensive, and cute. I even considered trying to do this in my Sunday School class - I teach the 3-5yr olds. I mean, it's a balloon with some glue and yarn. How hard could it be? It sure seems simple enough to pull off...
Boy was I wrong. My first attempt was laughable in how it turned out. Instead of a cute egg, mine turned out to look more like a bird's nest; and not a very decorative one at that. Thinking back, I believe I used too little glue and too much water. Hmm...
Surprising enough after that horrible failed it moment, I decided to try the experiment again, with a few minor adjustments.
This time I started with more yarn, and a lighter color since this is supposed to be an Easter decoration and the first time my colors looked more like Christmastime. And instead of using white craft glue (since I believe you need a good portion of a bottle for one of these), I decided to make my own paper mache paste.
For those of you who haven't done paper mache before, it's super easy. Mix water and flour with a whisk until it's a gloppy consistency. That's it. Awesomely simple, isn't it? So I used the paper mache paste this time, and I made sure to completely drench each strand of yarn before putting it on the balloon. And when I used up all 24 strands of yarn, here's what it looked like...
Pretty neat, huh? I was excited already, because it seemed to be drying and firming up much better even at this stage. And yes, this is my very own invention - the Courtney balloon-egg-drying system. I have since improved this to be a piece of yarn threaded through a clothespin and hung on a cabinet knob, but whatever works.
And there it hung for the rest of the day. You don't need 24 hours of drying time, but at least 5 or 6 is probably necessary to make sure that it's not wet still. Then I stuck my finger into some of the larger openings to separate the balloon from the dried shell (so it doesn't try to pull the yard inward when you pop the balloon). And finally, POP! I popped the balloon and fished it out.
Voila! Here is how this one turned out. Pretty good, in my own personal opinion. Since I used white and light pink yarn the colors are very muted; I'm curious what color the blue or red yard would be with this technique. But it is stiff and strong and ready to go on my mantle. If I'm feeling more adventurous later on and get tired of this color I could always spray paint it gold or purple or whatever other color I wanted. And if you don't have a perfectly round balloon, then they would turn out egg-shaped, which is pretty perfect considering the holiday.
Here is mine - I saw this great idea for an Easter decoration on Pinterest (you can get to the site by clicking on the caption).
 |
| http://churchfun.com/2009/03/29/free-yarn-easter-egg-project/ |
It looked pretty easy to make, very inexpensive, and cute. I even considered trying to do this in my Sunday School class - I teach the 3-5yr olds. I mean, it's a balloon with some glue and yarn. How hard could it be? It sure seems simple enough to pull off...
Boy was I wrong. My first attempt was laughable in how it turned out. Instead of a cute egg, mine turned out to look more like a bird's nest; and not a very decorative one at that. Thinking back, I believe I used too little glue and too much water. Hmm...
Surprising enough after that horrible failed it moment, I decided to try the experiment again, with a few minor adjustments.
This time I started with more yarn, and a lighter color since this is supposed to be an Easter decoration and the first time my colors looked more like Christmastime. And instead of using white craft glue (since I believe you need a good portion of a bottle for one of these), I decided to make my own paper mache paste.
For those of you who haven't done paper mache before, it's super easy. Mix water and flour with a whisk until it's a gloppy consistency. That's it. Awesomely simple, isn't it? So I used the paper mache paste this time, and I made sure to completely drench each strand of yarn before putting it on the balloon. And when I used up all 24 strands of yarn, here's what it looked like...
Pretty neat, huh? I was excited already, because it seemed to be drying and firming up much better even at this stage. And yes, this is my very own invention - the Courtney balloon-egg-drying system. I have since improved this to be a piece of yarn threaded through a clothespin and hung on a cabinet knob, but whatever works.
And there it hung for the rest of the day. You don't need 24 hours of drying time, but at least 5 or 6 is probably necessary to make sure that it's not wet still. Then I stuck my finger into some of the larger openings to separate the balloon from the dried shell (so it doesn't try to pull the yard inward when you pop the balloon). And finally, POP! I popped the balloon and fished it out.
Voila! Here is how this one turned out. Pretty good, in my own personal opinion. Since I used white and light pink yarn the colors are very muted; I'm curious what color the blue or red yard would be with this technique. But it is stiff and strong and ready to go on my mantle. If I'm feeling more adventurous later on and get tired of this color I could always spray paint it gold or purple or whatever other color I wanted. And if you don't have a perfectly round balloon, then they would turn out egg-shaped, which is pretty perfect considering the holiday.
So I actually do consider this one a success... after that first attempt anyway.
Friday, February 7, 2014
Sick and tired and hungry
What a week....
My poor toddler has been sick with croup. And in an odd twist, when she is sick, she doesn't nap very well. Perhaps it's the coughing keeping her up, but even though she has no energy and sits around the house most of the day doing not-so-much, she won't take a nap. Which means I don't get a rest either.
Luckily the baby seems ok and has been sleeping better at night. Of course her sister has filled in all those times where I used to get up with the baby, so I'm still getting up 4 or 5 times a night. Hence why the nap is so important. Well, hopefully that'll change soon. I keep hoping.
And we've been experimenting with different tricks to reduce the coughing. A steamy bathroom for 30 minutes seems to help some, but we finally broke down and got a humidifier last night. It helped some, but was not the sure fix I was hoping for. A friend today suggested bundling her up and taking her out into the cold air for a few minutes, so I think we'll be trying that tonight. Cross your fingers for me.
Now for a quick update on my food journey this week. I'm proud to say that I have only gone to the store once (Costco to buy.... flour!) and it wasn't until Thursday. Man was it tough being home all week with the girls and not having flour to bake with. So I guess it's been a somewhat accidental fast. I couldn't just turn to the kitchen cupboards and bake something to keep us distracted. But now we have flour again, so I'm optimistic that we can get through this weekend without needing a store run (or at least not a big one), and I see a possibility that I'll be able to make it through next week as well.
My poor toddler has been sick with croup. And in an odd twist, when she is sick, she doesn't nap very well. Perhaps it's the coughing keeping her up, but even though she has no energy and sits around the house most of the day doing not-so-much, she won't take a nap. Which means I don't get a rest either.
Luckily the baby seems ok and has been sleeping better at night. Of course her sister has filled in all those times where I used to get up with the baby, so I'm still getting up 4 or 5 times a night. Hence why the nap is so important. Well, hopefully that'll change soon. I keep hoping.
And we've been experimenting with different tricks to reduce the coughing. A steamy bathroom for 30 minutes seems to help some, but we finally broke down and got a humidifier last night. It helped some, but was not the sure fix I was hoping for. A friend today suggested bundling her up and taking her out into the cold air for a few minutes, so I think we'll be trying that tonight. Cross your fingers for me.
Now for a quick update on my food journey this week. I'm proud to say that I have only gone to the store once (Costco to buy.... flour!) and it wasn't until Thursday. Man was it tough being home all week with the girls and not having flour to bake with. So I guess it's been a somewhat accidental fast. I couldn't just turn to the kitchen cupboards and bake something to keep us distracted. But now we have flour again, so I'm optimistic that we can get through this weekend without needing a store run (or at least not a big one), and I see a possibility that I'll be able to make it through next week as well.
Monday, February 3, 2014
Less is more, right?
In my Friday mornings bible study / mommy group we have decided to embark on 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker. The basis of the book (or rather the introduction) is that as a society we have become one of excess where 'more is more' and being humble or thrifty isn't heralded as it used to. Or perhaps as much as it should.
So she challenges her readers to go through a minimizing exercise with her - each chapter focuses on a different theme and the reader is asked to reduce whatever that focus is, essentially doing a modified fast from it in an effort to realize how much excess we all have and how much we could do with less. This month the focus is food, and boy is it scary.
I know I'm a foody. I've always been. I was the child in 5th grade who when asked what my favorite food was, proudly answered, "lobster." Forget pizza or hotdogs, I wanted fresh Maine Lobster. HA! So I love food, I love to make food, I love to eat food, and I love the feeling I get when people eat my food and enjoy it. So this month is a TOUGH one for me.
The basic challenge is to choose 7 food items (think chicken or eggs, or bread, etc) and only eat those for 1 week. Yikes. I'm not really sure I can do that; I'm pretty sure I started hyperventilating merely reading it on the page. So onto the alternatives. One of her suggested alternatives is to cut the food budget in half for a week instead, and to donate the other half (probably to the church since that's where this is all stemming from). I think we can do that... let's see.
Now today is day 1. And since I hadn't actually read the chapter until this weekend, I didn't give myself the opportunity to bulk up last week in anticipation. Of course, I do tend to stock the house with a lot of food anyway (I love having the ingredients on hand for whatever I get the urge to make). So right now the grocery list only has 2 items on it - flour and rice (yes, flour for those of you who read my previous post... I've run out of flour!!). I think we're starting off in a pretty good place.
In fact, I'm going to see how long I can last without going to the store at all. Potentially combining a couple of her suggested alternatives - cutting the food budget and just eating the food you already have in the house. Here at the onset I'm going to see if I can handle half of the weekly food budget stretched for 2 weeks... although am I cheating if I say that my basic goal is to manage 1 week on half the food budget and my stretch goal is to make it with that same amount for 2 weeks?
One thing to note - I'm going to try and NOT shop that differently than normal, but merely focus on the basics without the fluff and fancy food. So if I need to buy flour (and 25lbs of it), then I'll buy flour at the same quantity I usually do without just going for the smaller bag where I know I'll end up spending more later. Of course, because this is a self created program, there's a lot of room for interpretation.
Now you'll have to check back in a few days to see if I succeed or how I end up "interpreting" my plans.
 |
| Pies I made for Thanksgiving. Don't they look delicious? |
So she challenges her readers to go through a minimizing exercise with her - each chapter focuses on a different theme and the reader is asked to reduce whatever that focus is, essentially doing a modified fast from it in an effort to realize how much excess we all have and how much we could do with less. This month the focus is food, and boy is it scary.
I know I'm a foody. I've always been. I was the child in 5th grade who when asked what my favorite food was, proudly answered, "lobster." Forget pizza or hotdogs, I wanted fresh Maine Lobster. HA! So I love food, I love to make food, I love to eat food, and I love the feeling I get when people eat my food and enjoy it. So this month is a TOUGH one for me.
The basic challenge is to choose 7 food items (think chicken or eggs, or bread, etc) and only eat those for 1 week. Yikes. I'm not really sure I can do that; I'm pretty sure I started hyperventilating merely reading it on the page. So onto the alternatives. One of her suggested alternatives is to cut the food budget in half for a week instead, and to donate the other half (probably to the church since that's where this is all stemming from). I think we can do that... let's see.
Now today is day 1. And since I hadn't actually read the chapter until this weekend, I didn't give myself the opportunity to bulk up last week in anticipation. Of course, I do tend to stock the house with a lot of food anyway (I love having the ingredients on hand for whatever I get the urge to make). So right now the grocery list only has 2 items on it - flour and rice (yes, flour for those of you who read my previous post... I've run out of flour!!). I think we're starting off in a pretty good place.
In fact, I'm going to see how long I can last without going to the store at all. Potentially combining a couple of her suggested alternatives - cutting the food budget and just eating the food you already have in the house. Here at the onset I'm going to see if I can handle half of the weekly food budget stretched for 2 weeks... although am I cheating if I say that my basic goal is to manage 1 week on half the food budget and my stretch goal is to make it with that same amount for 2 weeks?
One thing to note - I'm going to try and NOT shop that differently than normal, but merely focus on the basics without the fluff and fancy food. So if I need to buy flour (and 25lbs of it), then I'll buy flour at the same quantity I usually do without just going for the smaller bag where I know I'll end up spending more later. Of course, because this is a self created program, there's a lot of room for interpretation.
Now you'll have to check back in a few days to see if I succeed or how I end up "interpreting" my plans.
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